How To ACTUALLY Fix Anxious Attachment Style

I know it sucks. Believe me, I really know how it feels to be dependent on your partner’s mood. Always trying to get closer, just to be pushed away. It hurts when it feels like your partner doesn’t give a f*ck about you while you’re crying your eyes out. Why is it so painful to be this sensitive? Is it all my fault? Or is my partner just a piece of shit?

Well, let me tell you, it’s not your fault. You don’t have to change who you are or break up with your partner. All you need is a little understanding and growth. Learning how to fix anxious attachment style can make a huge difference in your life and relationships. By putting yourself first, giving your partner space, and expressing your emotions without blame, you can build a healthier and happier relationship. Let’s dive into some practical steps that can help you overcome anxious attachment and create a more secure bond with your partner.

10. Put Yourself First

As an anxious attacher, it’s natural to prioritize your partner and relationship above all else. However, it’s crucial to shift this focus towards yourself for a healthier dynamic. For instance, if you find yourself calling your partner daily, try a different approach today—indulge in a movie or a hobby instead. Initially, it might feel uncomfortable, even guilt-inducing, as though you’re neglecting them. But remember, this shift isn’t about being selfish; it’s about nurturing your own well-being and allowing space for personal growth. This change can breathe new life into your relationship by reducing dependency and fostering individual fulfillment.

9. Stop Closing the Gap

When your partner appears distant, resist the urge to chase after them. Instead, give them the space they need. Supporting their need for independence is just as vital as your desire for closeness. By stepping back, you allow them the opportunity to miss you and appreciate your presence more deeply when you reconnect. This approach not only respects their autonomy but also strengthens the foundation of trust and understanding in your relationship. Learning to balance closeness with space can lead to a more stable and satisfying connection for both you and your partner.

8. Express Emotions But Don’t Blame

It’s important to communicate your emotions and needs openly to your partner without assigning blame or expecting them to fix everything. Learn Emotional communication in this blog. Expressing yourself in a non-confrontational manner fosters healthy communication and understanding. Avoid making your partner responsible for your feelings or pressuring them to open up, as this can feel manipulative and create tension. Instead, focus on sharing your experiences and working together to find solutions that benefit both of you.

7. Have a Backup Plan

Anxious attachment often triggers fear of relationship failure. To manage this, consider having a backup plan as a form of emotional security. For instance, reassure yourself that even if this relationship doesn’t work out, you will eventually find someone more compatible and secure. This doesn’t mean actively seeking someone new or undermining your current relationship. Rather, it’s about maintaining emotional resilience and overcoming the fear of abandonment. Having a backup plan can provide reassurance and stability, helping you navigate uncertainties with greater confidence and peace of mind.

6. Take Responsibility for Your Feelings

Recognize that your feelings are your own responsibility, independent of your partner’s actions. What you feel is often influenced by your thoughts and perceptions, rather than external events. Challenge yourself to focus on positive outcomes and redirect your thoughts away from relationship concerns when feeling overwhelmed. By taking control of your emotional responses, you can cultivate a more balanced and resilient mindset.

5. Cognitive Strategies for Anxious Triggers

Identifying and managing triggers is crucial in managing anxious attachment. Take time to pinpoint situations or behaviors that tend to provoke anxiety or insecurity. Once identified, develop proactive strategies to cope with these triggers. For example, if you feel triggered when your partner doesn’t respond to calls promptly, refrain from reacting impulsively. Instead, channel your emotions constructively by writing in a diary or reaching out to a supportive friend. These cognitive strategies empower you to handle stressful situations more effectively and maintain emotional equilibrium in your relationships.

Learn how to deal with anxiety when he ignores you.

4. Avoid the Urge to Always Correct Others

As someone with an anxious attachment style, it’s common to feel a strong urge to correct others and control situations. Practice letting go of this tendency with siblings and friends by allowing them to proceed at their own pace. Recognize that impatience can strain relationships, and cultivating patience fosters healthier interactions. Embracing this mindset can lead to more harmonious connections and reduce unnecessary stress.

3. Emotions Aren’t Weakness

Contrary to popular belief, emotions aren’t a sign of weakness. As individuals with anxious attachment styles, we often perceive our emotions as a vulnerability that makes us appear needy. However, it’s essential to understand that our emotions are a source of strength and authenticity. They are what initially attracted our partners to us. Learn more about it in Why anxious and avoidant attract. It’s okay to experience and express our feelings openly. The key lies in recognizing how these emotions influence us—whether they make you or break you. By embracing our emotions as a natural part of being human, we can cultivate self-awareness and build healthier relationships based on mutual understanding and acceptance.

Get your Copy here! 

2. Confidence

Many of us with anxious attachment styles struggle with feelings of low self-esteem, believing our partners are out of our league or that we must constantly prove our worth. The truth is, you are already amazing just as you are. You don’t need to exhaust yourself trying to earn someone’s love or approval. Allow your partner to choose you for who you are. If they truly care, they will appreciate and accept you, flaws and all. Love is about mutual respect and understanding, not about constantly proving yourself.

1. Forgive

Forgiveness can be challenging, especially when holding onto grudges feels like protecting ourselves from hurt. However, harboring resentment only poisons our own hearts over time. Remember, your partner is human, just like you, learning and growing through life’s experiences. Give them the space and time to learn from mistakes. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning hurtful actions but releasing the emotional burden for your own peace of mind. By practicing forgiveness, you free yourself from the weight of past grievances and open the door to healing and a stronger bond in your relationship.

Key Takeaways:

• Prioritize self-care to nurture personal well-being.
• Understand triggers and develop strategies to manage them.
• Build confidence and self-esteem in relationship dynamics.
• Express emotions openly without blame or manipulation.
• Foster forgiveness for emotional healing and growth.
• Allow space in relationships to balance closeness and independence.
• Accept emotions as strengths, not weaknesses.
• Avoid correcting others impulsively; practice patience.
• Have a backup plans for emotional security.
• Remember, forgiveness liberates both heart and mind.

Ready to enhance your love life and personal growth journey? Follow my blog for valuable insights on love, manifestation, self-development, and emotional intelligence. Start transforming your relationships and mindset today!

If you made it till the end, Give a ❤ to this post.