Nothing gives me more anxiety than being (intentionally/unintentionally) ignored by my partner. Texting him endlessly, blaming him, ignoring him back, or trying to make him jealous were some of my unhealthy approaches to solve conflicts. I couldn’t stand the fact that he was enjoying his time somewhere else while I was waiting for him. Little did I know that this behavior was unattractive and could damage our relationship.
Men get offended when you make them responsible for your feelings, like sadness or anger, especially when they are unaware of it. I was constantly trying to make him understand me, but I failed to realize that I needed to understand myself first. My happiness and sadness were excessively dependent on him, and I mistook it for “love,” when in reality, it was my codependency at play. Instead of trying to change him, I should have focused on changing myself.